Making Eye Contact
The other day Piper and I were out to celebrate her birthday. On her actual birthday she got to hang out at Knuckleheads and listen to Aaron Lee Tasjan and Bonnie Whitmore play an amazing set,
chill with her newly "adopted" godmother Sarah and family, grab an inappropriate shirt,
and be gifted a CD from the lovely Bonnie. This was a pretty solid night for sure and she really didn't expect anything else, but I figured we could go out for a day of bonding that weekend as that seemed to be the thing to do.
We had begun the drive home after lunch and such and were passing over the Broadway Bridge when we hit a stop light. Right beside our car was a homeless man...young, maybe 20-25 with a sign that read "cold and hungry". I didn't have any cash on me but piper had already (unprompted) started digging into her wallet and came up with 5 ones. I told her I would pay her back when we got home. As I handed him the cash and he said "thanks" we made direct eye contact and he half smiled and nodded. The light turned green and he stood back up and waved to us both again looking me right in the eye.
I got kind of teary and started clearing my throat and Piper asked me what was wrong. It took me a while to get my emotions under control enough to talk but I finally said..."thanks Piper....that was a good thing".
Then I kind of got long winded, though to her credit she didn't interrupt me a single time... and I will paraphrase here but this is what I said to her...
"Every man and woman on the side of the road holding a sign came into this world just like you and I...no more or less important...just human. Maybe when they were born they were wanted and maybe they weren't but they came just the same.
There is a really high chance that that young man just aged out of foster care and had no where to go.
There is a high chance that that young man lost his job and fell down on his luck and has no home.
There is a high chance that that young man is a vet and served our country and no longer has benefits or job placement or the support he needs to merge back into American society. There is a high chance that that young man has a mental disability, that he wandered away from those who love him or never had anyone to help him.
There is a high chance that that young man had an addiction to something that took his life away from but left him living.
There is a high chance that that young man has a family and he is doing the best he can.
There is a high chance that that young man was a kid just like her but ran away from home because he was neglected or abused....We don't know his story.
This is what I do know about him. He is human. He gets hungry. He gets cold. He gets lonely. And on Sunday afternoon, all by himself he was holding a sign because he needed help.
He is just like us.
Eye contact shows him we know it. Eye contact shows him that we treat him with dignity, that our connection is intentional and real. Eye contact makes us both human.
We can't help everyone. But we can can always help someone and we can always, always look them in the eye.
She then said " Some people say he is just going to buy beer or drugs, but I don't think he will"....
I was actually caught off guard by this and didn't really have an answer then I said, "do you care or do you just hope that a few bucks will grant him some relief?"
And Piper, nodded, kind of crying but trying to pretend she wasn't said, "I just hope it helps a little."
I learned a lot about what a cool kid I had in that few minutes. I was reminded acutely about the true disparity that exists...hidden from my day to day life.
Reminded about how sheltered I had become again. Then in true suburban kid form asked " Are we still running by Target?"
This was funny to me because at the end of the day it showed me that I have it really good...that I have a pretty special kid...and that's ok. It's ok to be in a good place.
Peace
"Every man and woman on the side of the road holding a sign came into this world just like you and I...no more or less important...just human. Maybe when they were born they were wanted and maybe they weren't but they came just the same.
There is a really high chance that that young man just aged out of foster care and had no where to go.
There is a high chance that that young man lost his job and fell down on his luck and has no home.
There is a high chance that that young man is a vet and served our country and no longer has benefits or job placement or the support he needs to merge back into American society. There is a high chance that that young man has a mental disability, that he wandered away from those who love him or never had anyone to help him.
There is a high chance that that young man had an addiction to something that took his life away from but left him living.
There is a high chance that that young man has a family and he is doing the best he can.
There is a high chance that that young man was a kid just like her but ran away from home because he was neglected or abused....We don't know his story.
This is what I do know about him. He is human. He gets hungry. He gets cold. He gets lonely. And on Sunday afternoon, all by himself he was holding a sign because he needed help.
He is just like us.
Eye contact shows him we know it. Eye contact shows him that we treat him with dignity, that our connection is intentional and real. Eye contact makes us both human.
We can't help everyone. But we can can always help someone and we can always, always look them in the eye.
She then said " Some people say he is just going to buy beer or drugs, but I don't think he will"....
I was actually caught off guard by this and didn't really have an answer then I said, "do you care or do you just hope that a few bucks will grant him some relief?"
And Piper, nodded, kind of crying but trying to pretend she wasn't said, "I just hope it helps a little."
I learned a lot about what a cool kid I had in that few minutes. I was reminded acutely about the true disparity that exists...hidden from my day to day life.
Reminded about how sheltered I had become again. Then in true suburban kid form asked " Are we still running by Target?"
This was funny to me because at the end of the day it showed me that I have it really good...that I have a pretty special kid...and that's ok. It's ok to be in a good place.
Peace
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